Staying Busy

Staying busy, living my life,
Helps me deny he has a wife,
For a while I can pretend,
I'm his true love, more than a friend.

A day of passion convinces me,
But the day after, I'm not free,
I cannot get him off my mind,
And missing him has me in a bind.

I want to call him, but I fear,
That chasing him won't bring him near,
I want him to come after me,
But fear says it won't ever be.

I wish my ego would disappear,
And let my heart bring him here,
So I could be within his reach,
Sharing moonlight on the beach.

Sometimes I Forget

When we are alone in our online world,
I feel like I'm your favorite girl,
You respond to me as my man,
And I love you all I can.

Skype just makes it all more real,
And we don't hide the way we feel,
Your expressive eyes cannot lie,
And my smile's no longer shy.

We keep nothing from each other,
When we are online together,
You read me with just one look,
You are like an open book.

But there are times I get confused,
And my ego feels abused,
When I try to go too far,
And you remind me how things really are.

I forget you have a wife,
You tell me to get a life,
I almost beg, with you to be,
But you say it's just a fantasy.

But I have noticed recently,
Your chat shows some regret,
You tell me, sorry, I must go,
Sometimes we forget.

Second-guessing Is Depressing

It drives me crazy that you're so vague,
That for clarity, I must beg,
Just for once, say what you mean,
And with your feelings, please come clean.

Keeping me guessing,as you do,
Is depressing, makes me blue,
Second-guessing, I thought it true,
But now I see, you hope it isn't you.

You said nothing beats being busy and happy,
I guess at the wedding I was feeling sappy,
I sent you the photo of that day,
With me glowing, holding the bouquet.

Your reaction gave me hope,
Now I'll have to try to cope,
You said I'm young enough anything can happen,
And you said, it might come true,
But you meant with someone else, not you.

I'm about ready to fly away,
And let the chips fall where they may,
Stop the game, douse the flame,
Admit that this will never be,
For you chose not to be with me.

Remind Me Again

Remind me again, why I'm still here,
Why am I wasting so many tears,
Why can't I just face that you don't care,
As evidenced by the fact, you won't share.

If it's too much trouble to pick up the phone,
Or text me when you're all alone,
Then maybe I should ignore YOU,
And let you feel the pain I do.

We had something good before,
But now you've slammed and locked the door,
You don't love me now, it's clear,
And I have wasted three long years.

How can we keep hurting this way,
This silly 'pushme-pullyou' game we play,
Often makes us run away,
Longing for a better day.

That's my injured ego talking, I know,
I guess I still have a long way to go,
Yet, in my heart, we're always together,
Our Twin Flame Love's meant to last Forever.

Love's Opposite

Love's opposite isn't hate, it's indifference. Hate is a fast moving, sharp blade, quickly cutting pain, soon over.
Indifference is subtle, disguised in free will, saying it's up to you what you do, I don't care. You can stay if you like, it doesn't matter, because I won't change anyway. Indifference is being too busy, too tired or too lazy, too often, to give attention or time. The message is you aren't worth my time or effort. I don't care. Indifference is a dull, throbbing,ache, felt with every beat of a breaking heart. It will take a long time to heal.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry, I was wrong,
I ignored you for too long,
You tried so hard to make me see,
But my ego blinded me.

I tried to push and pressure you,
But you stood your ground,
Protected all that belonged to you,
While I threw a fit all around.

I invaded your sacred space,
And took up too much time,
Demanding to know what was my place,
I had no reason or rhyme.

I had no right to try to control,
What was your freely-chosen role,
You couldn't tell me anyway--
The future's for another day.

If you'll give me another chance,
To continue our Twin Flame dance,
I will listen carefully,
And try to see, the way you see.

Hitting the Wall Again

I woke up feeling sad,
Then remembered why,
Last night our chat was bad,
And he made me cry.

We had a fight,
No wrong,no right,
But it left me so confused,
I said we need a compromise,
But he just flat refused.

He said we hit that same brick wall,
But I will never change,
I'm too tired, loving you,
It's just another chore,
That made me cry, and ask him why,
Pushing open the forbidden door.

He slammed the door and locked the gate,
His heart was a frozen lake,
I could see in, but not touch him,
And it made my heart ache.

No longer will I slam that wall,
Leaving me bleeding and bruised,
If he wants me, he can call,
But I'm tired of feeling abused.