Then you accept the mission, the Council said,
With tears in my eyes, I nodded my head,
I glanced over to where he stood,
And knew in my heart, he also would.
We knew the journey we'd undertake,
That it wouldn't be easy and how hearts would break,
Loneliness would take its toll,
And things would be out of control.
We signed the contract with our tears,
For we knew it would be years,
Separated by distant oceans,
Oft confused by our emotions.
We would forget while on earth,
And Karma would often be our curse,
Other souls would lure us away,
Lessons to learn night and day.
But there would also be felicity,
Blessings of love and serendipity,
Family, friends, and things of wonder,
For the little boy living Down Under.
I was 12 when you were born,
Busy learning to play French Horn,
Living in the USA,
Family, friends, on my way.
Years went by in a blur,
You grew up and married her,
Around the time I was breaking free, unaware of what was to be,
You were creating your family,
I was on a quest to discover ME.
While you were putting down your roots,
I was trying on different boots,
Trying different relationships,
Perhaps it won't be as bad as I fear,
Changes coming the rest of the year,
I might be older,
But I can be bolder,
On the horizon, my freedom is near.
So I can't drive, and gave up my car,
I'm still alive, and raising the bar,
Up to the challenge of finding my home,
My place in the sun, a new beach to comb...
I'm outgrowing my comfort zone,
And it's time to get out on my own.
Long Distance Union
At last I see what our future can be,
It's taken a long time for me to see
And many tears did fall,
Felt so alone on the Big Blue Ball,
But now I know, you've always been with me.
I have such hope and happiness,
No more expectations, no more schemes,
No more empty promise dreams,
Just acceptance and thankfulness,
Feeling the Love and Truth.
Our Love is True, our Connection, Real,
Our Soul in Union we often feel,
The distance no longer an enemy,
And time zones give space to you and me,
Separation no longer a fear,
Because I know you are always near.
One day...someday, just not now,
Quietly he speaks his vow,
At last, the words that give me hope,
Until then, I know we'll cope.
There was a time he told me NEVER,
But in my heart, I still said Forever,
Through many years of bitter tears,
And then he said, yes, maybe..
Down the road, someday,
When life's not such a heavy load,
You and I will be free, but the future we can't see...so I'll ask you, let it be.
He gave me a motto from his heart,
And showed me a way we'll never part,
Love me now, enjoy our life,
Be my partner, let go of the strife...
We can't know the future, but I love you,
That's never changed, my promise true.
And now he says One day, someday,
No more never, speaks of forever,
Hesitant maybe fades into the past,
As we feel this Love will last...
FOREVER.
So, is this what we have, my love,
Is this our chosen way,
To stay in our LDR world,
Until another day?
Is it fear or obligation that keeps us so far away,
Or was it fate that sent me here too fast,
A test to see if our Love would last,
Separated by oceans and hemispheres,
Past lives, remembered, in dreams and tears.
I was free, but you were married,
I've had to learn to let it be, it's your life to carry,
Even so, we couldn't let go, though others made us guilty,
Sometimes we tried, but then we cried,
This Love we can't deny.
And so we chose our life online,
And you have your life, I have mine,
Still balancing on the big blue ball,
Trusting each other when we fall.
Still balancing on this big blue ball,
Not sure you'll catch me if I fall,
You have your freedom,
I'm claiming mine,
Each on our own side of the
Equator line.
Honey, you're right, nothing's for sure,
And I'm done keeping tabs,
It's all up for grabs...
I can't microplan the future.
With or without you, whatever will be,
The moment of NOW is all we can see,
I'm not looking for anyone else,
But I'm jumping down from this dusty old shelf.
You do YOU, and I'll do ME,
And someday we'll see the BEST we can BE.
Thanks to the Karmics,
You've well played your parts,
With your assistance,
You've strengthened our hearts,
All your resistance,
Won't keep us apart,
We're bound forever,
In soul and heart.
We didn't remember or understand
The promises made or God's command,
The Twins had a mission, a sacred Plan,
To come down to earth to help Ascend Man.
Some of us met on earth late in life,
Saddened to learn our Twin had a wife,
Or husband, it's true,
It's caused us much strife.
Some of us paid a difficult price,
Long distance love for years of our life,
Some of us living in separate worlds,
Time together a sacrifice.
Although we knew our love was true,
We couldn't act on it,
We feared hurting you,
We got on with our lives,
But often felt blue.
Thanks to the Karmics,
They taught us well,
Took us to heaven,
Or down to hell,
Some abused us, lessons to learn,
The difference twixt lust,
And love unreturned.
Most of them were loving and gentle,
But, just like us, at times temperamental,
They fought for control, and for their right,
And just like us, they cried at night.
Do they know that they must go,
When Fate delivers the bitter blow,
The Universe rearranges,
When Twins meet,
Their whole life changes.
So we're dead, that's what I read,
It's hard to wrap that around my head,
Just two zombies in cyberspace,
Autopsy made on Facebook,
With just one look.
Twin Flame journey feeling shattered,
Wondering if it really mattered,
Was it all just a scheme,
Were we just part of a meme,
Dying in a Cosmic dream?
Is loving from so far away,
Helping you get through the day,
Or will you keep it as an excuse,
And never tell the world the truth,
Afraid to tell them how you feel,
Pretending that it isn't real.
As you said, online was safe,
After so many years, these wires chafe,
You keep saying, wait and see,
But I don't think you'll ever be free.
There are many in Twin Flame Land,
Loving an unavailable man,
Afraid to open up his heart,
And only willing to give a small part.
Of all the regrets I've had in life,
The biggest one is that you had a wife,
We were doomed right from the start,
But we could never stay apart.
We said goodbyes, with tearful eyes,
Stomachs full of butterflies,
Knowing we would soon be back,
Never healing the basic lack.
Life was just a Cosmic Joke,
We were slaves under the yoke,
Twin Flame love was just a game,
But there was really no one to blame.
I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
I'll be so blue thinking about you,
On that tropical Isle, you're so distant from me,
I just can't smile, you don't spare a thought for me.
I'll have a blue Christmas for certain,
And when that blue heartache starts hurtin'
You'll be there Christmas night,
With your wife by your side...
But I'll have yet another Blue Christmas!
Karmic judgment comes to town,
The Tower soon comes crashing down,
The Scorpio moon, while people sleep,
Beckons Psyche into the Deep...
Dark Night of Soul, Tidal Waves Roll,
Ancient Goddesses watch do keep.
Ego screams in restless dreams,
Duality still reigns supreme,
Illusions of Unity defied,
As crumbling facades of marriages die,
Mirroring the end of Karmic lies.
Kali destroys, Lilith enjoys,
While Hekate, Her magick employs,
Torch held high, lights the way,
Shows the Crossroads of the Path,
Choices to make...forgiveness or wrath.
Where do I fit in your busy life,
When you're still stuck with your Karmic wife,
More concerned with financial strife,
And letting silence cut like a knife?
In our online LDR, words were once like falling stars,
Sparkles of Light filling the night,
Love and laughter, and everything right,
Dreaming of a future so bright...
NOW a choice twixt Good day and Goodnight.
We promised we'd go through this together,
While we worked on our Forever,
But sometimes in fear, you told me Never,
And text became an arduous endeavor.
Sometimes I wonder if it's real,
And I wonder what you really feel,
Is this Love the REAL Deal,
Or are we both just spinning wheels,
While waiting for the wounds to heal?
And yet I know it isn't just us,
Many Twins are on the same bus,
This journey is very hard and long,
With Karmics lulling with Siren song,
Pulling partners back into their web,
While Love of Twin is at its ebb.
They say the DM is full of woe,
And has a long way still to go,
And so he leaves his Twin alone...
The DF has battles of her own,
But occasional chat,
Or call on the phone,
Might keep her heart from turning to stone.
AstrandaLynn ~~COPYRIGHT 2017~~
http://poeticdream111111.blogspot.com
No more excuses, no more hoops,
I'm sick and tired of endless loops,
Being led on like a dog on a leash,
While you're in your comfort zone,
Out of my reach.
It's always on your terms, not mine,
I wait here, dying on the vine,
While you feed me another line,
Why should you care...
Your life's just fine.
I'm getting older, but not any wiser,
My heart feels cold, my mind is a geyser,
The journey is hard, but loosens the Bard,
Sometimes it seems you hold all the cards.
Right from the start, it's been only online,
No way out of our paradigm,
Promises made have no say,
And life keeps getting in the way.
You said NEVER, then said Someday,
Talked of Forever, then backed away,
So nonchalant you drive me insane,
And you don't seem aware of my pain...
Watching our dreams go down the drain.
Have I been wrong all this time,
Settling for a life only online,
Am I not worth more than that,
More than just sporadic chat.
Words is all we have to keep alive the fantasy,
Or so it seems when you're away from me,
Tethered to our internet connection,
Limited in our verbal selection,
Is speaking words of love too much,
Is our friendship really enough?
When we started years ago,
I vowed to never let you go,
And when we argued, I'd always know,
That we would always be back again,
And I was more than just a friend.
But there are times I wonder now,
If I should have kept that vow,
Would our lives have been different then,
If we had stayed just casual friends,
Or did it have to be this way,
So we would come to see this day.
Loving you from afar, I only see glimpses of who you are,
And I'm on the fringes of your life,
Not knowing if you are still with your wife,
And that's a continuing source of strife.
Not sure I want to be a lifelong mystery,
Never knowing where I stand,
Afraid to speak my mind,
Because you won't admit I exist offline.
http://poeticdream111111.blogspot.com
Superficial, friendly talk,
I'm burdened so I can barely walk,
Throat Chakra blocked so I cannot speak,
Heart aches, crying makes me weak,
Words of love filled to brimming,
All I know is I must keep swimming.
Why can't we speak of how we feel,
It would make this feel more real,
Perhaps that's why you stopped telling me,
And why, tonight I'm feeling lonely,
And you still won't tell me you want me only.
